A Verse in Briefs: A Saviour in Uniform

My restless, raunchy mind was inspired to write a poem to celebrate the bargain that can be gained by readers at Amazon – the price of ebook Uniform Behaviour has been reduced! Stop by and make a contribution to Help for Heroes as well as entirely more selfish reasons…  

Something’s not right,

Yet the cause is quite tricky.

But, as a result,

I’ve been left hot and sticky.


The bedroom’s so stifling

It’s making me sweat.

It must be a calamity

That has left me so wet.


Only a defective boiler

Could have caused so much heat.

But I know the damn thing

Was just serviced last week.


Is the house on fire

Though no alarm sounds?

I seek out some sign,

But none can be found.  


My mind is in frenzy,

My body on fire.

Not the right conditions

For me to retire.  


A natural disaster?

A flood from a leak?

There must be a reason,

Why I just can’t sleep


Though not entirely sure,

Whether lost in a dream.

It’s apparent that things

Are not as they seem.


I finally realise

That the heat’s localised.

Accompanied by a throbbing,

Deep between my thighs.


I need a solution,

Where to find a saviour?

Surely there are several

In the pages of Uniform Behaviour.



  1. This has put a big smile on my face! ‘Not the right conditions for me to retire’ made me laugh out loud. Nice work!

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